Sanzo's buns are the sweetest
by cubic-cow
Summary: A not quite serious exposé about the fact that Goku and Lirin can have foodfights, but no real nookie. Tongue firmly in cheek, further reading requirements are the ability to enjoy humour and some OOCness.


**Title:** Sanzo's buns are the sweetest.

**Fandom:** Saiyuki

**Characters: **Goku, Lirin, also feat. Sanzo-ikkou & Kougaiji's Party

**Disclaimer/Warning:** Ohh ohh ceeee! A silly blurp which erupted out from a comment, exposing why Goku and Lirin can have foodfights, but no real nookie! (Tongue-firmly-in-cheek). Reading requirements are the ability to enjoy humour and some OOCness.

Feedback and CC as always appreciated.

**oOoOoOoOoOooOoOo**

Another dusty battleground in yet another dusty outskirt of a random town.

Fighting for the last sweet bun, they toppled over, grappling wildly and taking turns snapping insults at each others intelligence respectively.

"It's mine, stupid monkey-baby!", Lirin yelled, finally getting hold of the, now slightly mangled, prize.

"Wha... Let it GO!" Goku was practically fuming with rage, feeling helpless to see _his_ bun getting strangely close to the youkai girl's, no _midgets_, mouth, tears of frustration prickling traiterously in his eyes at the impending defeat. Why had Sanzo given it to her in the first place? No one but _him_ should get to have Sanzo's buns!

An odd feeling of awkwardness crossed his mind directly after thinking so... somehow that had sounded _very_ wrong... but as quickly as it had come, the moment passed, and Goku's attention was snapped back into focus when when Lirin popped the bun in the air with a victorious laughter, sending it flying in a small arc, spiralling towards her now widely opened mouth.

"NOOO!" A strangled cry of denial wrenched itself from Goku's throat, all former thoughts instantly forgotten (hadn't they been unreasonable anyway?). With the strength of the desperate, he launched himself at his enemy (Goku was basically a cheerful and forgiving person, unless it involved food, or more precisely, the lack -or worse- the desecration of food), slamming into Lirin, who, despite having been prepared for his attack, was shoved close to losing her precious balance - after all it wasn't easy to target a flying, beautiful, irresistable sweet bun _and_ an enraged, nosy Goku in attacker mode.

Precious milliseconds passed when they met, but for the two of them it seemed like time had suddenly started to run in slow motion. Goku, pressed up against Lirin's side, Lirin clambering haplessly at his shoulder and cape for leverage, spinning him around just fractionally, the bun still on it's involuntary journey, ceaselessly spinning towards the ground.

The moment seemed to stretch into a stillstand, the heat of the their uncomfortably close pressed bodies an undeniable presence, two strong (stubborn, really) heartbeats pounding against each other in angry competition. Well, two hearbeats pounding against each other through an impressive layer of youkai chest, that is. But no-one acknowledged that fact.

Snarls curling their lips, and blushes staining the already heated skin of their cheeks with even deeper colour, two sets of eyes stared into each other in downright rivalry and anger, before widening in shock and realization when time continued to flow - both gazes snapping upwards to see the unavoidable. They were so caught up in staring and following the descending path of the innocent yet unlucky bun, that they didn't notice the subtle shift of gravity until it was too late. Losing her balance completely, Lirin crashed to the ground, pulling a disgruntledly squeaking Goku down with her.

It was only due to Goku's uncanny speed that he still managed to spin around mid-fall, twisting his body just about enough to keep his gaze fixed on the rapidly approaching bun, and - less to his own than to Lirin's surprise - catch it in his mouth.

Lirin wasn't standing back behind him in sheer speed, but she had been in a bad position to begin with; now she was seeing red - Goku, that absolute idiot, smashing into her, and smashing her to the ground, and now EATING _HER_ BUN?

With a bloodcurdling cry she pushed up and lunged at Goku, whose impossibly wide mouth had just unwarrantedly clamped down on her possession, _her_ precious. Pushing him down with renewed vigor, she straddled him, her expression furious, and did the only thing she could do, seeing that it was nearly too late (but she wouldn't have been Lirin had she given up her pursuit easily) - she dove down, sinking her fingers into the brown mess of unruly hair, fixing the stupid monkey's head in position, tugging strands (possibly painfully) as she determinedly covered his lips with hers. Surprised by the onslaught, he opened his mouth with a surprised bun-and-lip-muffled "Ara...!", giving her the opportunity to retrieve her belonging.

Or so she was convinced and tried accordingly.

After a moment of initial startlement, Goku found his wits again and countered Lirins feral attempts to scoop the bun out with her... tongue! He didn't get the time to ponder this truly strange new development any further, as he was busy enough trying to get leverage on the bun himself, with his tongue, of course.

(All the while he felt mildly confused about how the hell they'd gotten into this situation, but the fear about a loss of bun-goodness wiped those thoughts away more effectively than any of Nii's procedures could have done it.).

A short distance away, the rest of Sanzo-ikkou and Kougaiji with company momentarily stopped their own activities, having heard the heavy thump followed by a scream and a row of more or less muffled gasps.

Worrying about his beloved sister's well-being, Kougaiji turned to intervene, ready to stop the supposed strangling that seemed to be taking place, guessing from the noise - but he froze mid-stance at the wonderous sight.

So did Sanzo.

Hakkai and Yaone blushed synchronously before breaking into politely muttered apologies, while Gojyo and Dokugakouji first gaped, then threw each other assuming, knowing looks.

"Ah, isn't it nice to see the kids grow up, ne, Sanzo-sama?" Gojyou drawled with not little amusement in his voice. Sanzo's face showed no stirring at first, but he did glance over to Kou sharply. With frightening conformity they both stepped forwards in silent agreement, and just when Lirin lifted her head, to lick a last trail of filling off of Goku's cheek, grinning triumphantly, hell broke loose over them.

A clawed and a black gloved hand painfully dug into slim shoulders, yanking the two squabblers apart, but not before Sanzo had delivered a sound blow with his harisen to both of their heads.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?", Kougaiji's face was flushed in what surely could only be anger(?), and without leaving room for explanations, he shouldered the suddenly very undignified looking Lirin, carrying her off, muttering darkly about castle arrest and no more random escapades. "We retreat, but next time we'll get the Sutra, Sanzo-ikkou." He announced grimly.

"But Onii-san, it was miiiine, my sweet bun...", Lirin wailed futilely, but was only rewarded with more dark mutterings and a strangely flustered sidelong glare. Yaone and Dokugakouji dutifully trotted after them.

Goku wasn't as lucky; after having received several more blows with the already well acquainted paper fan, he was undiplomatically and not all too friendly shoved into the opposite direction of Kougaiji's retreating party, preconceived with nothing more than a scowl and a familiar unreadable expression.

A grunted "Suits me just fine", while walking away without even looking back, was Sanzo's obligatory and careless, but today strangely strained sounding answer to Kougaiji's announcement; he added, "Get into the car, we're leaving!", directed towards his own companions (necessary evils, rather; nuisances, even).

Trailing hurriedly after the bristling, striding monk, half being pulled behind, a confused Goku raised his voice. "Sanzo, I didn't do anything wrong!", he protested in a dither, "what is the matter, it's not like we've never fought before and...Umph". Having run into the monk who had apparently stopped dead in his tracks, he found himself far to close to the former's backside, the same that was gratefully covered by thick layers of robes, as he noted. Then, suddenly finding himself face to face with him (a view he preferred by far, although Sanzo's current glare threatened to melt holes into his still sticky and dusty skin), he became silent. "Just what", Sanzo snarled with barely contained anger, which was tinged with undisguised, startled annoyance, "did you think you were doing just now! You better have a good answer!"

The last sentence had a weird, rarely heard, upset quality to it, and Goku stared at him, wondering if Sanzo had been hurt while he hadn't been paying attention. Guilt blossomed in his devoted heart, and he cursed himself for being too caught up in his own little fight to watch out for the others, if he just hadn't been carried away because of that stupid personal food fight...

Sanzo's energetic shaking pulled him out of his guilty musings. "YOU IDIOT MONKEY I ASKED YOU SOMETHING! Don't you know it's impolite not to answer when someone talks to you!", while continuing to shake him. (He had long given up the standard referral to respecting elders, as he realized that in this particular case the often used phrase was no good. Goku might have many dense moments, but he wasn't stupid as such. Just selectively attentive, as he liked to call it).

"But.. I was just trying to get back the last bun!", he snapped back, irritated by Sanzo's persevering blank stare, "And for your information, I managed to get half of it back! Or maybe it was only a third...", his eyes narrowed in deep concentration,"Thinking about it, I _thought_ I would have gotten half of it, but then she took some away and I couldn't get all back, who would have known someone could have such a bendy tongue anyways, but I tried Sanzo, I tried!"

Golden, determined eyes met violet, bewildered ones. With a noise that could have been a sigh or a disbelieving laughter, or anything really considering the circumstances, Sanzo rose and turned. "So that was all.", he said calmly, "You two were fighting...", he paused to breathe, "_fighting_ over a dusty bun."

Goku stared cluelessly. "Why yes, what did you think we were doing? It's your fault anyway, because you gave her my bun, I was just trying to retrieve it...", he said indignantly, but trailed off as Sanzo was already walking back towards the waiting jeep.

"Enough. Let's go. And not one more word.", he warned. He sounded tired.

Goku hopped into the back of the jeep, where Gojyo was already waiting, one of his smug grins on his face. "What now!", Goku said irritably, having had enough confusing and cryptical conversations for his liking. The car started, and the ryhthmic rattling began to relax Goku partially. Gojyo smiled a deceptively warm smile at him, one of those that meant he was thinking about Gojyo-things. He started to feel slightly doomed.

"So...", Gojyo said casually, "how did it taste? Did you enjoy it?"

Watching him with those predatory, wine-red eyes of his. Goku was still irritated, but gradually relieved. "Huh? Well, it was delicious as usual, it surely had been nicer without the dust, and if I could have had the whole of it...", but Gojyou interrupted him, "Not the _bun_, you greedy pitless stomach, the g i r l !".

Goku stared. "Did you not have her tongue shoved into your mouth, baka?" Gojyou leered. Something dawned on Goku, and his view glazed over. "Oh.", he finally said, "Oh, if you mean that... well I guess it was kind of nice... it was like having the bun warmed up, you know, not as good as putting it on the stove, but better than eating it cold... HEY what are you laughing at!" He shouted, seing how Gojyo had buried his head in his arms, shoulders shaking with breathless laughter.

"I don't.. believe it.", the halfbreed sighed after the giggling fit that had shaken his body had subsided. Goku swatted at him angrily, "Stupid Ero-Kappa! What are you talking about? Girls, girl, not everyone's got a one track mind like yours!" Lifting his head and snickering, Gojyo stretched out his arm, pressing his palm to the upset and annoyed boys forehead to keep him on distance. "Stupid monkey really has nothing on his mind than food, even if it pounces on him, ne, don't you agree, Hakkai?" Hakkai didn't turn, but Goku thought he could see a twinkle in his eye, reflected in the rear mirror.

"I think", Hakkai said diplomatically, "that despite his age Goku still knows how to enjoy his childhood.". And after a sidelong glance to the passenger's seat he added, "The children today grow up too quickly, so there's really no fault in a person enjoying that part of their life, don't you agree, Sanzo?".

Sanzo just muttered something unintelligible along the lines of "Shut up and die" (but it couldn't really be understood by anyone - his gloomy expression spoke for itself though), which inspired Hakkai to laugh one of his good-natured little laughs.

"You did nothing wrong, Goku", he assured the uncomfortably shifting young man, "It's been a long day. We should try to find a place to stay and maybe have something to eat, would you like that, Goku?" - "Yeah!" And Goku was up again, smiling brightly, clinging to the front seats, listing a variety of foods he wanted to feast on.

**Epilogue:**

Rumour has it that Gojyo couldn't leave it at that without making a few more pointed remarks to the monk, revolving around the eventuality of jealousness -after all it had been "Sanzo's love interest" how he called it, who had made a move on the monkey- and pondering the necessity of sex-ed in the near future -after all Sanzo was kind of looking after Goku, technically, and Gojyo would have been too interested in hearing Sanzo's version of the birds and the bees... (which led to a passionate hymn of Goku, worshipping the enjoyable goodness of honey and dishes that were made by use of honey). The rumours further say that mentioned monk threw something that bad tongues might have called a tantrum, involving the excessive use of his gun towards previously mentioned red-haired water sprite; but all that is merely speculation, as the whole group was spotted in a nearby town the same evening, neither in loss of members nor limbs.

And so today's tale ends.

Another rumour has it that the end was shortened dramatically because the narrator got bored and impatient, but that is plainly rude... and untrue cough... and everyone who dares to believe that shall get whacked with a harisen by the blonde harisen-wielding night fairy of revenge. So there. :D


End file.
